Thursday, 7 March 2013

OCD

This post is about me today
I have OCD doctors say I have part OCD
I don't usually talk about it because people don't understand and treat me like I'm stupid
People associate OCD with being very clean it isn't always that way
All my childhood I was called lazy and often crazy
I'm not lazy i find it difficult to do things there 2 different things
When I walk into a room that's a mess I can't just clean it like normal people I have to come up with a plan of action sometimes ill clean a bit of counter in the kitchen then go into living room and clean a bit of the floor then go into kitchen again if the bin is full I can't clean kitchen full stop now to normal people that probably comes across she's too lazy but to me all I can see in my head is bugs crawling so id rather not even look at it it totally stresses me out would end up with me having a panic attack and me scratching myself all day now in my eyes it isn't worth it.

I'm lucky I have the best husband ever he tells me to wait until he gets home and he will do it.

Sometimes I have to phone rob and he will tell what I have to do I'm always trying to get reassurance that I'm doing the right thing I'm so paranoid that everyone is talking about me and staring at me and judging me

  • Sometimes ill lie awake at night thinking that someone is breaking into the house and end up scaring myself
  • I have this unreal thing where I feel as if I must confess even if its something simple
  • Yes I hoard I'm not as bad as I used to be recently we threw out loads of baby clothes from when I had depression I was hanging on to them thinking I needed them to survive it was hard to get rid of them rob is throwing them into bags and I'm sitting there panicking and crying but I was so proud of myself.
  • I also do the repeating of words I count the letters in words to myself I whisper it to myself i used to this as a kid when on the toilet when reading a book
  • i have this thing where i have to wear the clothes i wore the night before i couldn't go downstairs undressed it might sound weird but I've done this for years
  • i cant fold clothes not that i dont want to i just cant
  • finally i seem to convince myself i haven't got OCD as strange as it sounds suppose i want to feel normal but I'm not normal.
life isnt easy for me but i never give up and thats what matters
i want to give my kids a half normal life

I found this online some of these are me to a tee some of them aren't of course

Compulsive behaviour
Compulsions arise as a way of trying to reduce or prevent the harm of the obsessive thought. However, this behaviour is either excessive or not realistically connected at all.

For example, a person who fears becoming contaminated with dirt and germs may wash their hands 50 times a day, or someone with a fear of causing harm to their family may have the urge to repeat an action multiple times to try to "neutralise" the thought of harm. This latter type of compulsive behaviour is particularly common in children with OCD.

Most people with OCD realise that such compulsive behaviour is irrational and makes no logical sense, but they cannot stop acting on their compulsion.

Some common types of compulsive behaviour that affect people with OCD include:

•cleaning
•handwashing
•checking (such as checking doors are locked, or that the gas or a tap is off)
•counting
•ordering and arranging
•hoarding
•asking for reassurance
•needing to confess
•repeating words silently
•prolonged thoughts about the same subject
•"neutralising" thoughts (to counter the obsessive thoughts)

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Today is a good day

 Bbbbrrrrr it's cold today I've had the heating on all day but its still bitter can't wait till the summer
Older girls are at school, daisy is sleeping grace is sitting eating her fave pear while watching tv I'm getting 5 or 10 minutes peace and quiet if I'm lucky.
I was doing my online food shop but blogging is more fun

I'm trying to think what to make for my tea (evening meal) I have a whole chicken usually I would make curry or maybe a roast dinner healthy one of course i might have to look for different chicken meals

I have slimming world today I hope I haven't put any weight on I have tried really hard this week I don't find it easy being on slimming world I'm a total junkaholic I love anything that's easy but my body

 doesn't so I try as hard as I can to be a better person my kids are proud of me so that's what keeps me going that and my facebook group it's weird but 
writing down on this group what I've had to eat keeps me going on the straight and narrow

cooking for 7 is no easy task i usually have to double recipes or add extra vegetables

im lucky my kids will eat anything there fave slimming world meal is chilli and rice.

I'm trying a new product today yeo fat free yogurt I paid a bit more for it but it has more in it I'm hoping to find a natural yogurt that doesn't have that bitter taste to it

There will be a new recipe tonight will post recipe if it works out.

Monday, 25 February 2013

welcome to my mad world of kids: Yesterday's tea

welcome to my mad world of kids: Yesterday's tea: Yesterday's tea was chilli done slimming world style Was meant to post this yesterday but was busy As I've said previously everyth...

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Yesterday's tea

Yesterday's tea was chilli done slimming world style
Was meant to post this yesterday but was busy
As I've said previously everything I make is made fresh as possible and isn't out a jar or packet

I make this chilli with baked beans and kidney beans I know that seems a lot but I have to make huge meals with having to feed 7 people everynight so I bulk my meals out I also don't use real chillies with having to feed young kids but I do use chilli powder, fat free yogurt is a must with this meal I always have a tub in my fridge its not expensive you can get it for £1 in most shops

Now on to the rice, rice can be difficult for some people
Personally i use a rice cooker you can get them cheap but we had to get a expensive one with having to feed 7 people
Please remember no matter if you use a pot or a rice cooker you must make sure you wash the rice until the water runs clear

Why not add stock cubes and some turmeric my kids love this rice they call it chicken rice

Recipe here on my facebook group

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151278281431640&set=o.528109327212368&type=1

Thank you all for reading

Saturday, 23 February 2013

aspartame damned if you damned if you don't ?

This is something that worries us all
My take on it is if we don't take these diet or sweetener options we couldn't lose the weight we do if it was wasn't for diet sodas I couldn't be on slimming world and stick to it but if you look into it it's not all evil

Read this
http://www.food.gov.uk/policy-advice/additivesbranch/55174#.USiiDREgGSM

And this
http://www.aspartame.org/

From what I've read I understand some people's body can break down the components in the Aspartame and some people's can't

So I say damned if you do damned if you don't
It's the same with everything as long as you take it in moderation
I will continue to use my sweetener and diet soda

Friday, 22 February 2013

new me or old me hidden?

This week I started a group on Facebook for my recipes and advice
This is a huge step for me
I'm very shy and not sure of myself usually but I thought sod it
It's something I've wanted to do for ages
 
 
i have loads of ideas as a mother of 5 kids
i love to cook for my huge family i also love to take pictures of my efforts
being Scottish we are huge meat eaters so afraid you wont find much vegetarian meals.
 
Im always forgetting my recipes so ive started writing them down
tonight i made the kids homemade Lentil soup this isnt a meal for you if you dont like your veg because it is packed with it
 
 
check out my facebook group for the recipe
______________________________________
 
 
i will be putting on loads more recipes on my group
that i have either found online or made up myself
 
i do own all the pictures as i love taking pictures it makes me feel proud
 
i will also at some point be doing reviews of my appliances i own in my own kitchen im a gadget queen i love anything that does the job for me
 
anything you see in my blog or on my group is always hand made i dont do jars or packets
i believe my families health matters more than saving money
 
thank you for reading today
 
xxxxxxxxx
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

My dieting journey

Dieting or eating healthy is harder than you think

Tonight we are having shepherds pie
I love it and does the kids

500g mince I use 5% fat mince
1 leek cut up
2 onions chopped
3 carrots chopped up small
Herbs of your choice
Fry light
Garlic I use dorot few cloves
Tin tomatoes
Beef stock about 200ml I use oxo
Cup of frozen peas
Pot of potatoes peeled
1 egg

Put your tatties or potatoes if your not Scottish in pot and cook them
Put in different pot leeks onions and carrots in with herbs and garlic I
I cook these for about 20 mins
Add tomatoes and beef stock now put in the mince and stir till the mince is cooked
Now put in peas
Now put it in a large dish
Put this aside and start to mash the tatties with the egg
Once this is done place the mash on the mince mixture you have made up
It sounds weird but it does work
Put this dish in the oven for 30 mins

This dish makes loads I have to make huge dishes for my family with having to feed 7 people